DailyDOOH Launches Executive Headhunting Firm
IGCH Ltd., the UK multinational behind DailyDOOH, the world’s first online portal from Henley-on-Thames, focusing purely on digital out of home, today announced its formal entry into the headhunting and recruitment sector with a joint venture with an, as yet undisclosed, German based trade show organisation.
We guarantee to find you a job
The new business Reise nach Jerusalem GmbH has been incorporated in Munich, with its first offices already up and running in Zurich, Switzerland and Miami, FL.
DailyDOOH co-founder Adrian Cotterill said “We already have our first two clients – each of whom is both an industry veteran AND an industry pioneer”.
He added “We only go after the biggest – often literally, and the best candidates and it’s our aim to get them a job in the digital signage industry within six months or we will return to them half of the fees they pay us upfront”.
Market Research firm Pfründe AG said that it was proven that six months was the optimal amount of time to be unemployed. A Pfründe AG spokesman commented “the best thing to do, during any time of ‘unemployment’ is to pretend to be a consultant”.
Cotterill added “Being a ‘consultant’ during the time between jobs is so important to your CV and what happens to you, or doesn’t happen to you, next. In fact, ordinarily we won’t take on any client who cannot pretend that they are genuinely not looking for a job”.
The press release was also good of free advice. It recommended that companies never actually fire their senior executives and it cited world first, global leaderless digital signage software and solutions company ComQi as a beacon of how it should be done. Cotterill explained “you never need to fire people if you create an imaginary board of advisors and simply move any executives that you do not want to that board. In a single stroke, the corporation removes any stigma involved with an executive’s departure”.
He added “Our Zurich office specialises in taking executives from imaginary advisory boards into imaginary executive coaching and consultant roles with a view to finding them REAL full time employment”.
“It may take six months but we will get our clients a sinecure, whatever it takes”.
Rumor is that the Miami office will be focussed solely on the lucrative South American jobs market. Cotterill would not be drawn on this but said “If you want a gringo who knows South America, where better to have them live, eat, work and breathe than Miami? Our client gets a North American executive salary, recompense of course with his dozen years or more of experience, first class TAM Airlines air travel and generous US Dollar business expenses AND he gets to live in Miami!”.
Cotterill added “With 31.8% of the South American population in poverty, securing a Miami based executive is absolutely the best thing a big corporation wanting to compete in the digital signage marketplace can do”.
Executive enrolment fees for Reise nach Jerusalem GmbH, start at USD 100,000 or equivalent. Payment in Miami can be paid in Molly equivalent. Payment elsewhere can be made in Swiss Francs or Israeli Shekels.
April 1st, 2015 at 15:39 @694
Let me know when you set up ‘Führen Sie das Paket’ for all DOOH logistics needs too?
Dirk will have to forgive me for my Google translate German as that’s all I’ve got!
April 2nd, 2015 at 14:06 @629
I hope this doesn’t serve as a conflict for your historically independent and blunt commentary on management and companies in the space. It’s one of the best things about your site and has been sorely missed in recent months.